the halls of silence

One more...

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 23:56:36 GMT

How long have I had this cesspool masquerading as a blog?

Not long enough to conquer the bitterness in my heart. Goodbye.

Talk to the hand...

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 16:43:01 GMT

I wish my boss weren't on vacation. Then I could tell *him* that I'm out of here, so I can start wrapping up my projects rather than being expected to care about why some resource ended up with a bad file handle. Whoop-de-doo.

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 19:29:30 GMT

Know that song "I'm Getting Nothing for Christmas"?

I have a new variant: "I'm Giving Notice for Christmas". Got a new job on the way, so I can finally say goodbye to this crack-addict code I have to help maintain. Of course, it probably means saying hello, to crack-addled management and corporate practices, but a 14K payraise is worth it.

When!!

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 17:13:56 GMT

WHEN does my new job start? Not soon enough. I am SO fucking sick of wasting time because of compiler idiosyncrasies that we could AVOID if we used anything RESEMBLING a modern development environment. Doing the same old boring lame shit is bad enough without it taking extra, wholly gratuitously fucking unnecessary, time. *sigh*

...

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 02:29:51 GMT

Well, it figures, I suppose. Jess has family in Florida, and I'm down here with mine for the Thanksgiving holiday. But guess where *she* is for the holiday? Atlanta -_-

fucktastic

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 00:44:18 GMT

In the "microscopic changes make a big difference that fucks everyone over", I made a tiny-but-far-reaching mistake that fucked people over for 3 hours and for 2:45 I was completely oblivious because no one called me. SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH. *sigh*

What heart I have is mine, always.

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 23:31:35 GMT

Amusingly, things have been semi-decent lately, hence the lack of bitter entries. There's nothing quite like spending Saturday night alone not by choice, though, that reminds you how tenuous whatever you've gained is.

I guess the bottom line is that I've never really put any stock in that "Jesus loves you the way you are" horseshit. My self is intrinsically without value, and no amount of belief in happy magical fairy bullshit ever really convinced me otherwise. When I'm out doing things with what friends I have, I can feel like I matter for a little while, but in the end there's just me. Nights like tonight I walk the fine line between solitude and loneliness. Being bitter and jealous doesn't solve anything, but it's fucking hard sometimes.

And again I am reminded why I'm glad no one in real life can see me write this stupid fucking emo bullshit.

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 15:58:03 GMT

You know it's going to be a long Monday when you're a computer programmer and the clicking of your own boss' keyboard. Hell, my own keyboard is pissing me off. *sigh*

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 01:35:39 GMT

Well, at least two people cared enough to accept my invitation to diss me. I, um, appreciate it.

I hate OkCupid or whatever the fuck the site is. It's just another "community" where I'm the outsider, the freak, the "special" guy. Kind of like LJ, although at least I get to be bitter here on my own terms. I'd rather be a pathetically emo assclown on some bullshit blog than in real life; QED.

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 02:26:56 GMT

View Poll: #547651

Let's see how many votes this sucker gets.

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 14:42:58 GMT

Every surf randomly through LiveJournals? Right, right, you have a life. But if you did, you'd notice a large number just get... abandoned. It's like cave paintings on a wall - the marks of people who have long ago moved on. Kind of bleak.

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 15:06:04 GMT

Not a bad weekend, except for the part where I embarassed myself by overindulging in all-you-can-drink Sweetwater Saturday night, not to mention how it trashed 2/3 of Sunday. It's all good when I pay for the alcohol myself, since I know I can't afford 5 pints of Sweetwater... *sigh*

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 21:21:33 GMT

Things could be worse, setting aside how Bush fucked everyone over on Tuesdy. John Roberts looks like Johnny Isaakson, quite frankly, and Isaakson is a lousy swine. Coincidence? Not. At least Bush hasn't ruined my weekend, which may turn out to be quite enjoyable. Woo.

Shout at the sky

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 22:34:02 GMT

I fucking hate Outlook. Why does everyone on the fucking planet have to use this God-forsaken crappy program? Why do people have a hard time dealing with e-mails that don't contain the entire history of the exchange and that can be replied to without worrying about silly things like the fucking font color?

So apparently I'm getting demerits on my coming performance review for having refused to use Outlook for the last six months. *sigh*

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 19:19:10 GMT

It's come to this - another entry. On my third rewrite of the same piece of code - they just decided that some features weren't necessary after all. I'm having a great Friday.

EVEN FUCKING BETTER

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 23:12:33 GMT

Score! I have water dripping from the roof, and I just fucking made the first mortgage payment on this place a week ago. The only thing that hasn't happened today (yet) is the part where rabid beavers chew through my door and use my face as a ping pong ball. Jesus motherfucking Christ.

What a pathetic day.

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 22:53:11 GMT

Fucking Mondays. I got pissed off at work today after fucking up, offended one of the secretaries with an unfortunate debug message, my e-mail access has been down for several hours (thanks so much, SDF, for giving me my money's worth!), and fucking Michael Jackson got off to boot. Tuesday, please.

Stupid weakness

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 19:01:35 GMT

Fucking damn it. Swing dancing last night was fun, but afterward the conversation (with 4 girls and 4 or 5 guys) was dating, relationships, etc. In other words, the absolute fucking LAST things I want to talk or think about. And it wasn't just temporary, but went on and on. It's like bringing a keg to an AA meeting. God damn it.

Fucking cops

Wed, 25 May 2005 12:57:10 GMT

So they have the road past my office closed for construction. Fine and dandy, as long as I can figure out how I'm supposed to get there in the meantime. Too bad the keystone kop directing traffic can't be bothered to answer questions like "How do I get to that office building over there?" In the time that it took to say "It's closed, keep moving, keep moving" you could have just TOLD me, you fucking stupid assclown. "Protect and serve" my ass.

Fuck spam

Sun, 15 May 2005 16:15:29 GMT

I should learn voodoo so I can craft a likeness of these swine fucking scum who send me spam and torment them for the rest of their long horrifically painful lives.

Star Wars sucks

Sat, 07 May 2005 00:35:58 GMT

The evidence

People wonder why I'm not keen on ever seeing any of the Star Wars movies (I haven't).

Forgot to pay the fucking rent. $63 late fee and eviction by Monday if rent isn't paid by then. The extent to which I enjoy tonight is the extent that I can forget about the aforementioned bullshit.

Die like this guy

Mon, 02 May 2005 20:38:29 GMT

A good way to die

It's sad that this guy died, terribly sad. But you can't help but feel he was ready to go and he went out on top. To die with your dreams in hand... 'tis a consumation devoutly to be wished.

Wachovia is lame

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 03:00:01 GMT

So Wachovia can only tell you your yearly interest until 8:00 PM. What the hell do they do at 8, press the damn "sleep" button?

Guess I'm doing my taxes another night...

...

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 04:02:06 GMT

The details don't matter to anyone. Neither does the summary.

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 05:04:27 GMT

Well, my life is now complete. I just scored a 167 point Scrabble word.